Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Professional Unknown: How to Stop Panicking & Refocus Your Job Search

Do you ever have those moments in life when you're stuck in a state of limbo a bit longer than you'd like? I've been in the process of switching jobs for a few months now, and I'm chomping at the bit for the hunt to be over...but I haven't found a new job yet. Come October 1st, I will be working solely on a freelance basis after deciding to leave my part-time job.
This decision wasn't one I took lightly, but with the opportunity to increase my income working freelance and dedicate more time to finding a full-time job, I believe it's the best option for me. I spent about a week or two freaking out about the possibility of not having a steady income (especially with student loans and medical bills from a tonsillectomy rapidly coming around the corner), but I've managed to move past the initial terror and into a more productive realm of thinking. 

It can be tough having blind faith that something will work out, but I've found a way to manage the fear of the professional unknown somewhat gracefully. Here's how you can, too: 
  • Find your safety net: I'm extremely fortunate to have my parents to rely on. As much as I complain about wanting to move out on my own and get away from my mom's smothering worrying, I wouldn't be able to work on finding a career that ignites my passion and provides for me financially if I didn't have them to support me. Living at home might not be the coolest thing to do, but it's definitely providing me with much needed space to collect myself. Unfortunately, you might not have the same type of support system and might have to build a nest egg as your safety net instead, which could mean having to spend a bit more time at the job you're looking to leave. 
  • Scour job posting apps before bed: When my mind starts racing at night when I'm trying to sleep, I'll sometimes log onto the LinkedIn Jobs or Indeed apps on my own and scroll through new postings in my field. Of course, this is in addition to the day-to-day search that I try to constantly stay on top of. If I go through and save a few jobs on the app, I feel like I've been productive and stress a little bit less before I nod off. The light from my phone might be bad for my circadian rhythms, but it sure beats endless ruminations about unemployment.
  • Come up with alternative routes: Since spending most of my summer in various degrees of sickness, I had to get used to working from home. At first, I found myself missing the camaraderie of an office setting, but I quickly set up my own work desk and scheduled phone calls and emails accordingly. I even began practicing this with my freelance work. And you know what? I love working remotely. My creative energy is at an all time high when I don't have to live The Sarah Show for eight hours a day. The more I think about it, the more I realize that a full-time position may not be the right choice for me. In case I don't find a job I like in the near future, I'm working on building up my freelance client base. If you have skills that can easily be done remotely, consider looking into freelance for yourself. If nothing else, it's more money in your pocket!
How are you making it through your job search? Do you have any tips for me? I'd love to hear them!

Monday, September 14, 2015

A Letter to My Mama Bear: 10 Things I've Never Thanked You For

Source: Site Builder Report
Dear Mama Bear,

You are exactly what a mother should be. Overbearing, flawed, warm, loving, protective, and so many things that there aren't even words for. You're also pretty computer illiterate (aside from being able to get on Pinterest from your iPad) and I doubt you'll ever read this. But here's my thank you for all the things I've never been brave enough to say to your face.

Thank you for...

  1. Never making me apologize for my teenage years when I blamed you for everything and made you cry. You still wanted to be my friend when I finally started being a person again. 
  2. Telling me to "have a safe and happy day" every morning as I leave the house. I still might roll my eyes at you, but your words echo in my head when I start driving too fast to work or begin counting my personal miseries. I slow down and remember the positives. 
  3. Taking care of me when I coughed up so much blood after my tonsillectomy that I looked like an extra from a B-list zombie movie. When you gently wiped the blood off my chin, I felt nearly human.
  4. Letting me and my terrible dog live at home during college and post-grad. I admit that Cloe is kind of a jerk 90% of the time and has been destroying your house since I was 12, but there have been times when she's been my only friend. I know that you see how much she means to me and you let her stay even after she's peed on the rug every month for the 11th year in a row. 
  5. Being really healthy. You're so dedicated to working out and eating healthy that it's truly inspiring, but you never make me feel ashamed for being overweight. You encourage me to do better. 
  6. Holding my hand when I was little girl when I couldn't sleep at night. I still remember those moments when I'd lie next to you and feel protected knowing that my hand was in yours. 
  7. Being a crazy dog lady. How on earth did you think it was a good idea to get two Newfoundland puppies at the same time?! You're crazy and eccentric, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Plus, the puppies are probably the cutest things I've ever seen. 
  8. Calling me "sweetie" when I'm wrong. If I'm convinced that we need to go left, but you know we need to go right, you always let me down gently. "No, sweetie, we take a right to get to Target." 
  9. Letting me call you weird names. Sure, a lot of the time I stick with Mom, but you let me mix it up with "Big Hoss" and "Mama Bear" when I'm being silly. 
  10. Encouraging me to pursue whatever degree I wanted. You didn't bat an eyelash when I told you I wanted to teach English or get a degree in Professional Writing. You believed in me enough to know that whatever degree I pursued, I would make the best of it and find a great career. 
All my love,
Sarah 

Friday, September 11, 2015

Heartbreak Isn't What It Used To Be: How to Survive a Broken Heart

When I began writing again on this blog, I promised authenticity and I'm striving to hold true to my word. And if I'm going to be completely honest, there's been something consuming my thoughts beyond my career woes and general post-grad listlessness. I've been debating about whether or not I should write about this, especially since it's so fresh and the pain is overwhelming, but I want this to be a true, messy representation of who I am. So here it is.
Source: Kaboompics.com
My heart was broken a little over a week ago. The man I love, who I was planning on moving in with and sincerely thought I would end up marrying, decided he wasn't prepared to be in a relationship presently. In the moment, I was blindsided even if in retrospect I shouldn't have been. While it still hurts immeasurably, I can understand in some respects where he was coming from. We all have things to figure out before we can truly commit to another person.

Honestly, I'm still holding out hope that we might have a future together somewhere down the line, but for the time being, I'm burying away that nugget of hope so I can move forward. Telling you this isn't meant to be a cry for sympathy; instead, let's focus more on a phoenix-rising-from-the-ashes scenario and talk about how you can survive heartbreak. And be a better you for it.

  • Have a cliche crying jag: I'm one of those people who has been emotionally suppressed into thinking crying is terrible sign of weakness. Logically, I know it's not, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel really uncomfortable about crying. But when you're caught in an emotional riptide sometimes the only response is to bawl your eyes out to your family and close friends. If you learn nothing else from this process, you'll at least know who truly loves you despite your raccoon eyes and snotty nose. 
  • Avoid triggers: My ex and I got a kitten together. A sweet little baby I may never see again. Just typing those words makes my chest tighten. For that reason, I've been avoiding all things cat-related. People close to me know not to talk about cats or kittens. When trigger situations are unavoidable (like walking past the pet supply aisle), acknowledge the pain you're feeling and then quickly buckle down, forcing your thoughts onto something else. Don't let cat toys be your downfall!
  • Say your piece and then let it go: When my ex first broke up with me, I was stunned into silence. It wasn't until after I had a few days and collected my things that I kept at his apartment that I could form a proper response to all that I was feeling. So I said it, acknowledged his response, and then decided to leave it at that. 
  • Tuck away your hope: As fool hardy as it may be, I still have some hope that we might get back together in the future, but that's not what is keeping me going. Everyone tells you to take time for yourself and I decided to listen to their advice. I've been focusing on my career and working on this blog that I left empty for so long. It's revitalizing. But in those moments when you're missing your ex terribly, just remember you have that nugget of hope waiting for the right circumstances.
For those of you out there who are suffering, my heart goes out to you, but you're not alone. If you'd like to chat about heartbreak and how you're wallowing or overcoming it, leave a comment, tweet me, or shoot me an email. I'd love to hear from you and commiserate. 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Why I Want to Live in a Tiny House

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I'm a little obsessed with tiny houses. A few months ago I randomly tuned into a marathon of Tiny House, Big Living on HGTV and immediately fell in love with the concept. Right now, nothing sounds better to me than blogging, drinking coffee, and hanging out with my dog in a tiny house.

Source: Cleveland.com
Here's why I think tiny house living is for me:
  • Anti-hoarding: My family has clutter everywhere. In comparison, I love nothing more than a good purge of all the stuff I'm not using regularly or doesn't add to the quality of my life, which is really weird to my family (perks of living at home post-grad). In a tiny house, there's no room for excess things. I would be forced to keep only what I need or what brings me joy. I've been trying to build a capsule wardrobe for years—it's still a work in progress—and can only imagine how easy this would be to accomplish with such minimal space
  • Low cost: You can own a tiny house outright (although you still need a place to put it) for around $30,000 or less depending on the quality and amount of work that needs to be done. If I eventually get to a point where I can pay off my student loans and save a lot of additional money, I could theoretically live without rent or a mortgage. 
  • Solitude: At best, two people can live in a tiny house. As an introvert this sounds like heaven to me. After recently going through a break-up, I can see myself being happy living alone (with my dog) in a tiny little haven. 
I think a tiny house would suit the lifestyle I imagine for myself. Right now, I'm trying to convince my parents to turn the cute little shed in our backyard into a tiny house, but they don't seem to be taking me seriously. If anyone knows of one I can rent in the PA/MD area, let me know!

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

How He Hustles: Matthew Randall

I've been lucky to have many cheerleaders and mentors in my life. These are people who inspire me to work harder and do better, but also believe that I can succeed on my own. When I began working at York College's Career Development Center in May 2012, my hard work and determination to do well was fortuitously noticed by the Executive Director of the Center for Professional Excellence, Matthew Randall.

Matthew with Liz Murray of Homeless to Harvard fame
After news spread around the Academic Services department that I had a sharp eye for grammatical errors, Matthew began asking me to look over documents for him and graciously accepted the cheeky comments I left in the margins. Since leaving Career Development, Matthew has continued to provide me with challenging opportunities that help me grow as a young professional and I couldn't be more thankful.

Aside from being a brilliant mentor, Matthew is famous in the world of professionalism and has been quoted in numerous articles, including The New York Times. He continues to roll out new seminars to enhance the student experience at YCP and gets to hang out with some pretty awesome celebrities like Maya Angelou, Liz Murray, and John Walsh.

Fortunately for us, Matthew was kind enough to share his tips on how to hustle and succeed professionally.

Advice from Matthew

  • Avoid perfectionism: Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good.  Many times ‘good enough’ is actually sufficient.
  • Don't stagnate: Once you become proficient in something, select a new skill/attribute/behavior to develop.  It expands your skill set and can introduce you to a whole new network of professionals.
  • Seek honesty: Find a mentor/peer that will honestly communicate to you about your performance.  Many co-workers will tell you that “you’re fantastic” or “you’re great! I cannot think of anything you can improve on." Don’t buy it. We all have blind spots and need to sharpen some skill or behavior.  Find someone who will point out your strengths…as well as your blemishes.
  • Realize that no job is permanent: After I finished my MBA, I was hired by a large, respected accounting and consulting firm.  I thought that being an employee in this organization was my path to a stable and rewarding career.  Some years went by and a few high-level executives within the organization made some serious errors.  Within a matter of 6-7 months, the entire organization went out of business. Thousands of employees, including myself, were suddenly out of a job.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Just Give Me A Reason

Remember when I said I was confident what I want for my future? Yeah, that lasted all of two minutes. Instead, I keep ricocheting back and forth between abject terror at having no idea what I want with no prolonged happiness in sight and being mildly numb or content with the idea of meandering onto a career path.
Source: Startup Stock Photos
My gut doesn't speak to me in truths anymore. What I'm absolutely sure of one moment can dissolve within seconds. I can't seem to listen to my heart, gut, instinct, soul, or whatever because I keep being led astray. I don't know how to buckle down and get to the root out of what I want in life.

Right now, in a moment of relative calm I feel okay with the uncertainty. A few of the jobs that I've been applying to are truly appealing and my fingers are crossed that I'll find something that feels right. Maybe I'm overthinking my future too much, trying to control every aspect. Perhaps I just need to let things happen.

The one thing I'm sure of is that I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. I can hear my grandmother echoing those words she learned from her mother. A long line of women in my family have given themselves over to the hope that the universe will serve them well. I think it's time I follow in those foot steps.

For the first time in my life, I don't have a plan. I don't have a vision for my future. I'm willing to take a peek at any open door on my path to see which is the right for me. I'm terrified and I can almost guarantee I'll be stress crying again tomorrow. But when that happens, I'll remind myself to have a little faith that everything will work out in the end.

Have you been struggling with post-grad life or just trying to change direction? Share your story in the comments!

Friday, September 4, 2015

Lemons and Lemonade

Admittedly, I have a tendency to speak in cliches, but the only way I felt I could start this blog post is "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." This generic, overused phrase is pretty much the nicest way to explain my long absence from blogging. Short and sweet, 2015 has not been my year. There have been a heck of a lot of downs, but I've been able to keep my head up...most of the time. So now that I've been accumulating lemons for several months, I think it's time that I start making lemonade.
Source: BarnImages
One of the things that discourages me from blogging most frequently is how saturated the market is. How am I supposed to stand out amid millions of other voices with similar stories to mine? This desire for originality and fear of being another carbon copy has prevented me from typing out words to share with this audience. But now I realized that notoriety and expansive readership isn't the point. My blog is a space for me to share my passion projects and what makes life glow a little more. The content that I have from the past still holds true to that. People like Vito and Samantha still inspire me and I hope to share more stories of others who inspire me.

Moving forward, I intend to be less concerned with having a polished, final product and focus more on creating real content that expresses who I am as a writer and a person. I feel like my life has been a little murky for the past few months without a clear purpose, but now that I'm confident in what I want and the future I see for myself, I can't wait to share the journey with you.

If you've been having a lemon-filled life as of late, feel free to share your story in the comments or shoot me an email/tweet. It's always nice to know that you're not alone.